Things I(we)’ve heard

Women shouldn’t have equal rights; they are too important.

We have to protect our Queen and the Mother state.

 

So man up and grow a pair.

Stop being a pussy and don’t be such a girl,

 

and stop talking about that time of the month

you women enjoy talking about so much-

it’s disgusting!

 

And don’t get started on body hair.

No one wants to hear about that either-

it’s disgusting!

 

You’d look prettier with a bit of slap on,

but not too much.

Women wearing too much make up

look like slags.

 

Besides you make lovely tea;

you’ll make a great wife one day.

 

And yes, man flu is a real thing.

 

This is a man’s world after all; deal with it.

 

© Clare Abbott (November 2017)